Imaginable

Just imagine
What if
What if time stopped;
The world was to be at halt
What would human do;
Talk?!
Walk?!
Or think about what is life all about?!
That is when the sober knows
The meaning behind all that flows
No?

I'll take it as something not meant to be.

Lately, I've been reminiscing so much. 

I can clearly remember the words from them saying that I can make a good TESLian.

I can clearly remember the moment I bought the complete work of William Shakespeare. I remember how I struggled to understand each word and said to myself "It's okay, when the time comes, you'll learn them in university,".

I can clearly remember the moments I helped my friends in English and said to myself that I would be doing the exact same thing in the future with my students. 
I can clearly remember how I looked at my English teachers in awe and said to myself "aw baby! that would be you in just several years to come!".

I can clearly remember the moments I proudly stated my plans for the future.

I can clearly remember how happy I was when my SPM result was the best someone could get, to do what I want to do.

I can clearly remember how high my hopes were when I applied for the course.

I can clearly remember how devastated I was when my application was denied.

I can clearly remember how hard I cried and rebelled.

I can clearly remember how the people around me and I coaxed myself.

I can clearly remember how I came to a point where I had to accept things and acted like everything was cool.

Years from now, I hope I would be able to remember how I'm trying my best now to accept what God has given me and still strive for what I love.

It might take time but I'll try. God knows what's best for us and I believe in blessings in disguise. I know that I have a choice on whether to smile and accept or to rebel to the end.

"If Allah brings you to it, He will bring you through it".

 

 

xoxo

Light fm

It has really been a while, so I think I'll update with the latest things that are going on. Plus, it is about being written, not read. At least 20 years from now I can at least reminisce and say "Well yeah thankfully I jotted something down,".

Things are going on fine here though I'm very far from home which wasn't something that happened often back then but now I have to get used to it. Another thing that I've realized is that I can now appreciate and value the money I get from my parents. Buying things without thinking like the old times, NO MORE. haha. As cliche as this might be, I still wanna write this down. I don't care. haha. I miss my house. I miss my hometown. I miss my family. I miss my friends. I miss my car omg carly how are you? :(

Being here, I've seen more. More in the sense of so many things especially people. Each and everyone is very different from each other. Some might be nice, some might be sweet, some might be approachable, some might be not, some might seem weird, some might suffocate me, however people are, I'll have to accept. Nothing I say can change others. How people are is something that I cannot choose. Who I associate with is something in my control. 

xoxo

Waves complete the shore

Bob asked me on whether I've stopped blogging. No, I haven't. It's just that I could not update people when I was in a total mess. If you're a Malaysian, and you've gone through the age of 18, you would probably understand me. It's like an edge, reaching a cliff.. You will have to choose either to fly or jump. I don't know if I'm actually over-reacting but that's exactly how I feel. Jump down or fly, either way, I couldn't choose. That's when I know that sometimes in life, I can't choose everything because things can choose me too. Well now that I'm chosen to do law, I'll go with it. Tak kenal maka tak cinta can still be used I suppose? :) I'm cool with it. Whatever. haha till then.

xoxo

Buttoned

I can't deny the fact that I'm afraid to encounter what's ahead and I'm quite sad and disappointed but yeah there are groups of people crying to have what I have and I'm one of those who cry to have what others have. So what's the point? I might think that I have a legitimate reason to whine and weep but to certain people, it's so thankless of me. So again, what's the point?

Neither do I know what my point is. I just need a remedy for myself. Being thankful maybe? oh yeah and an analogy wrapped in a cute box for myself, with a ribbon on top.

I'm on a boat, being afraid until my heart wriggles to jump out of my body into the sea (yeah illogical, I know). So my job now is to grab it and  hold it tight to make it to the land because if I lost it, how am I supposed to live? And I have to stop envying the fishermen though their hearts stay calm and not trying to jump into the sea because if I spend too much time envying, I might lose focus on my heart, so it jumps, so it dies. Oh na na I don't want that to happen.

Ok enough elli. bye.

xoxo

Learn yourself

I walked pass a mirror and caught a glimpse of my reflection. I ended up saying "Was that me??" and ran back to the mirror to check. And yeah, it was me.

I thought everyday is about learning new things around me. By then, I discovered that everyday is about learning myself too. We expect people around us to understand and know us well, but you know what? Forgive them if they don't because they haven't even known themselves entirely just like how you haven't gotten to know yourselves fully.

xoxo



Picture's source:
http://blog.epicedits.com/2007/12/10/16-inspirational-portrait-photography-techniques/

SIMILAR CASES

Pain. No matter how painful it is, no matter how long it takes, it will eventually end. It doesn't matter in a good or bad way, it ends.

Someone once told me that happiness and sadness have one thing in common. They eventually end too. 

The point here is that I'm trying to understand and embrace that fact to be bolder and walk through everything be it pain, happiness, or even sadness because things will turn to be neutral at certain check points. 

FYI, I'm writing this post to endure my dental pain (as always) and to control my fright of receiving my SPM results in less than 48 hours. Good luck elli, and good luck babies! Oh and Japan, hang in there. The pain will be overcome soon. :)

xoxo

Weak Chance Turns Strong

Hello :)

Something happened yesterday during the 5th MEG meeting. Something awful enough to change my tone in an instant, something that I did on my own though I did not intend to, something that I didn't even actually realize until a friend alarmed me, something that could have been much worse if it happened silently, something that was to me so impossible to be fixed in minutes, and believe it or not, with the help of god, and the power we find in friendship, it was resolved in just several minutes. It had taught me a lot. I could never imagine surviving that moment alone. The most important thing is that FRIENDSHIP MAKES IMPOSSIBLE THINGS POSSIBLE.

xoxo

M.E.G.

Hi there.

I've been asked lately about what M.E.G. really is, so here we go. 

M.E.G. is an English group that I created. It stands for Moving English Gang for the way we operate is that we move and travel around town mostly on foot to adventure life after SPM while we speak English all the way through for that is the major point, English. I was thinking on how to make it fun, so I eventually found some ways such as the Town Adventure thingy. Whatever it is, table discussions are not left behind. Basically, we'll meet up thrice a week. Twice for fun activities, and once for table discussions on many kinds of issues, grammatical sessions, listening and speaking skills exercises and so on. I really hope that it will work for me and for all the other members.

M.E.G. is always free and fun. If you're a post-SPM and you're interested, don't ever hesitate to join and bring along your friends. It really is beneficial for you in ways that you will definitely appreciate later on. Here are some pictures of some of the meetings. 

1st meeting (Table discussion) ; Bob, Ashraf and I. 

2nd meeting (Table discussion and Museum visit) ; Ashraf, Bob, and I.

3rd meeting (Town Adventure- Tourist Disguise) ; Ashraf, Bob, Nuyu, Mimi, Feisal and I.

4th meeting (Table discussion) ; Nuyu, Ashraf, Pidah, Mimi, Faisal, Feisal and I.

xoxo